So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
