The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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