I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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