So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
