he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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