you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
