Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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