Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
