Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
did you just send me my own nude
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
