What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
