The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize