I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
