About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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