Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
