He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
