I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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