Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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