so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
