Yo dont text me then not text me
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
