How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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