I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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