he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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