i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i already hear my dad disowning me
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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