i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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