he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
