How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
