VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
