Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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