I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
