That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I love you. Go after that dick
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