Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
