Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
