She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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