I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize
