so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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