You really coming over, don't trick.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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