Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Do you have feelings for this penis?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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