we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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