You made me cry and you don't even care
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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