are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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