Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize