What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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