You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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