Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
