You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize