we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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