You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
