she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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