i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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