yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
