2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
