What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
