Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
