I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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