You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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