Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
