Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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