wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
