I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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