The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
