I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
