I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We need to rekindle our bromance
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
