people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize