my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
