I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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