i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
